Act 11/Episode 32

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Act 11
Episode 32: Re: Re: Portrait
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Banri(The center of the stage, position zero[1]…)
(When I first stood here, I wasn’t able to grasp just how important it was. Now I know its value.)
(All the memories the first-gen members created…)
(All the memories from the newborn Spring and Summer Troupes, the Autumn Troupe I belong to, and the Winter Troupe...everything is packed into this place.)
(Those memories gathered here in this theater, in this troupe…it’s absolutely forbidden to ruin them.)
(Still… Even so, I want to stay here.)
(Because I understand exactly how important this place is, I sincerely hope I can stay here.)
…Phew.
(Man, the stage really feels wide when you're standing alone.)
(But I'm not alone. The members of MANKAI Company are sitting in the audience seats.)
(The Autumn Troupe members and Director-chan are also watching me near the equipment… There's nothing more encouraging than having them around.)
(Even though I can't see them out in the seats themselves, I know a lot of people are watching me through the camera.)
…Let's do it.
(Now is not the time to mull over how I want to present myself. All I need to do is to lay myself bare, so bare that they can see who I truly am.)
Chikage3, 2, 1…
Act 11 Episode 32-01.png
BanriI’m Banri Settsu from the MANKAI Company..
First off, I'd like to apologize to all of my fans for making you worried.
I'm deeply sorry for getting involved in controversy right after our upcoming play was announced.
However, I'd like to make it clear that this isn’t just an apology livestream.
The rumors that have been going around social media are not entirely true.
It's true that I caused trouble for a lot of people, and I've been giving it a lot of thought. I want to apologize to them.
But that's not all there is to it. I don't want the reputation of this theater troupe to go down because of misunderstandings about me.
Today, through this livestream, I want you all to know what kind of person "Banri Settsu" is.
Would you like to listen to the story of the life I've lived until this point?
Because I'm an actor, I prefer to do this on the stage, rather than in a press conference.
"My Portrait--Banri Settsu."
Banri Settsu was empty.
Ever since childhood, I’d always been more talented than the average kids around me. Many people praised me because of that. At first, my family praised me and I kept showing off because I liked that feeling and wanted more.
However, as I kept it up, people changed how they reacted since they weren't surprised anymore. Above all, even my own sentiment grew weaker and weaker, to the point that I found everything boring in the end.
Growing up in that kind of situation, I had a delinquent phase back in high school. Thinking back on it now, I was lame as hell. I was afraid to face the empty person I’d become, someone without passion or ambition.
Because of that, I wanted to experience something that could stimulate me even for a little bit, and getting into fights just happened to be that something. I couldn't stop. I never thought about whether or not I hurt people with the things I did. All I cared about was finding the thrill of it.
Now that I think about it, it was a stupid thing to do. I never thought about how that kind of thing would affect my future. No. Maybe I just never tried to think about it. My desperation stopped me.
Then, one day, I happened to come across the theater industry. Not only is the job challenging, but it's filled with things I'd never come across before in my life. I lost to someone on stage. I wasn't able to accept that feeling, so I decided to run away from acting.
As I watched my fellow troupe members' performances from the audience instead, I realized that I absolutely couldn't let it end like this. I couldn't lose to them.
"I want to be a different person than who I am right now."
"I want to stand at center stage with confidence."
"I want to achieve the dream that both my friends and I shared."
"I want to walk towards the dream that I've been ignoring, and I won't run away again."
After experiencing how each of my troupe mates felt, I decided I want to live the same way as them. I was curious about how they consistently strived to try their best.
There's no doubt that the turning point was watching everyone's portraits.
From then on, my life's changed so much. I even chose my uni so I could study acting seriously.
Watching other people perform on stage made me reflect on the way I live my life. It's completely different now.
Even if it meant they were awkward and uncool onstage, my friends tried so hard to act out their life stories to the fullest. Past me would've laughed at them, but I wouldn’t have changed without it.
Those guys are a hundred times better than me, a guy who chose to run away.
I came to resent the fact that, for the first time in my life, I was bad at something. Acting just didn't go over well for me.
I thought I could smoothly tackle anything that came my way...and I didn't want anyone to see me otherwise. I'm pretty sure my real weakness was just that: I wasn't comfortable showing my shortcomings to other people.
But, thanks to my troupe members, I realized that the one thing worse than failure was running away from something without facing it properly.
Having said that, no matter how lame I get, I won’t run away from the stage anymore. I want to continue acting with all my might. Deep in my empty self, I want to perform an act that can change someone else's life, just like what my comrades did for me.
I want to keep doing this no matter what. It's the absolute, number one best way to live.
Now that I've chosen this path, I'll walk it even if I fail or get stuck on something. I'll follow this through like my life depends on it. The only difference now? I'm surrounded by friends that encourage me, that show me no matter how uncool you look, you gotta keep pushing.
I want to stand here as a member of this theater troupe, together with my friends in this theater, on this stage.
Nothing can replace this feeling, these people, this place. It goes beyond just acting, too. This fire burning deep inside my heart right now is the answer I've been looking for.
Even if I struggle, look lame, fail--I want to perform as a person that takes pride in all that, that pushes with all they've got.
No matter what, I want to stand on this stage. Even now, it's all I can think about. I refuse to let go now that I've found my answer.
I want to act! Here, on this stage, for now and forever!
BanriThat's why…sobs.
Haha. I really am lame…
Right now's the first time in my life that I've let myself feel so strongly about anything.
My emotions...don't feel like they belong to me...but this is who I am.
This is all of me… Thank you so much for watching!
IzumiYou did such a great job, Banri-kun
TasukuHe really did his best.
YukiIsn't it like the first time we saw that neo gangster be this honest?
TenmaBanri-san managed to say everything, huh..
KumonI hate to admit it but, that was so cool Banri!
MukuI’m sure your words reached everyone’s hearts!
MisumiYou did well, Banri!
HomareYour portrait was so great it made my heart tremble!
AzumaIt was a portrait that only Banri could perform.
TsumugiI wonder if Banri-kun has found the answer.
ItaruYo, look at that viewer count.
ManagerThe stream has ended!
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TaichiBan-chan!!
BanriWhoa!
OmiGreat job.
SakyoGood work, leader.
BanriStop patting my head!
AzamiI like how you cried at the end. Good thing it didn't ruin your makeup.
JuzaLameass.
BanriShut up.
Juza…But you were freakin' awesome.
BanriGod you’re really annoying.
Izumi(It’s such a relief that Banri-kun made such good friends.)
(He’s really found people that accept him in Autumn Troupe. I’m really glad..)
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  1. Position zero is a term that is used to refer to a performer who standsright at the center of the stage.