Juza | —I always wanted to become someone else. |
| Since I was young, I was different from everyone around me. |
| I was a head taller than all the other kids my age, silent, and not childlike at all, so aside from my family, nobody came close to me. |
| Even after entering school, my classmates were scared of me—even when I did nothing—because I was expressionless and had glaring eyes. Even my teachers treated me carefully. |
| I wasn’t sociable enough to open up to others by making my looks into a joke, so everyone kept their distance. They just didn’t know what to do with me. |
| Eventually, because of my looks, people started picking fights with me all the time. |
| All I did was defend myself—but before I knew it, I was known as the strongest delinquent in our neighborhood. |
| Now, I became interested in theater during the culture festival in my first year in middle school. |
| I had no friends, so school activities were never anything but a pain. But when my class decided to perform a play, I saw a sudden ray of hope. |
| If it’s within a play—I can become someone else. If I become someone else on stage, then maybe I can change, and become someone I don’t hate. |
| That’s what I thought, so I tried to raise my hand when we were deciding roles—but the teacher immediately asked me to work as part of the stage crew. |
| I think the teacher was probably trying to help me find a place within the class.
I fell silent. Everyone’s stares from around the room pierced me. |
| Since then, I stopped hoping.
Still, every time I went to watch a play, my admiration for the stage only grew. |
| That’s when I heard that my cousin Muku would be performing on stage. |
| I ran into Muku every once in a while at family gatherings. He was the kind of frail-looking guy who started shaking after just locking eyes with me. |
| I wondered, “Why theater?” But after seeing him on stage, the answer was clear. |
| Muku was an entirely different person on the stage. He wasn’t shy or mumbling—he was full of life. |
| In that moment, I understood that he, too, had wanted to get rid of his outer shell.
At the same time, I was overwhelmed by incredible admiration and jealousy. |
| I want to change, just like him. I want to become someone else.
I saw the flyer for the audition and thought, this might be my last chance to change. |
| I want to join this troupe, no matter what it takes—those were my feelings when I came to audition.
Truthfully, I still can't believe that I’ve been accepted. |
| But now that I’m a part of this troupe, I’m going to make sure that I change from the me I’ve been up till now.
Because this stage is the last hope that shone upon my loneliness—… |
| |
| (My “regret” is averting my eyes from the stage that I admired for so long. I won’t repeat that mistake.) |
Muku | —Ju-chan. |
Juza | Muku.... |
Muku | Congrats on your acceptance to the troupe. |
Juza | ... |
| (Muku has changed off-stage as well. He’s no longer afraid of looking me in the eye.) |
Muku | I never thought I’d be able to do theater with you, Ju-chan—. |
Juza | Don’t speak to me here. |
Muku | ——. |
Juza | Don’t let anyone know that we’re related. |
Muku | But I told everyone that someone named Ju-chan came to watch the Summer performance... |
Juza | ...First, stop calling me Ju-chan. |
Muku | Ah, sorry, Ju-cha... Juza-san. It’d be a bother if people found out that you were related to someone like me, right... |
Juza | What? No, that’s not—. |
Muku | Good luck with practice! See you—! |
Juza | ...tch. |
| (If people find out that you’re related to a delinquent like me, your reputation’s gonna be at stake.) |
| (That’s why I can’t say anything yet.) |
| (But I’m gonna change myself through acting. So that Muku, who gave me the courage to take a step forward, can be proud to call me his family.) |
| (When that happens, then—.) |