Nocturnality/Episode 8

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Nocturnality
Episode 8

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Azuma My parents’ car apparently crashed into an oncoming car and got thrown off a cliff. My parents’ bodies were found, but my brother’s body is still missing... I know it’s hopeless, but no matter what I still couldn’t give up; I grew my hair and prayed that he would return home someday. ...If only I had said “Don’t go” instead of “Have a safe trip.” I regretted that again and again. Even though there’s no point in mulling about it now. Izumi Azuma-san... Azuma Since then, I’d always lived by myself. When I sleep at night, I get bad dreams about the accident, so I’m afraid of facing the morning alone... That’s why I started accompanying people to sleep. I joined the theater troupe for a similar reason at first. Perhaps even now, I keep doing theater because I still don’t want to be alone. ...When I think about that, I feel guilty towards Tasuku who’s always throwing himself head-on into acting, and towards the Director who entrusted the lead role to me... I thought that if I returned to being by myself again, then I might be able play Reo’s character, who embraces solitude. Tasuku Is that why you’ve been going here every day...? Azuma That’s right. ...Ahh. I honestly wasn’t planning on showing all of you this weak and pathetic side of me. But Tasuku was unusually making a lot of effort, so I don’t care about the embarrassment anymore. Tasuku The embarrassment is mutual. Azuma That’s right. I, and the rest of the Winter Troupe — we’re all adults, so we know how to keep a comfortable distance with other people. That’s why we never pried more than necessary. But I created distance under the pretense of being ‘considerate,’ and in the end I was also protecting myself. If we don’t pry, then we can get through without hurting each other. That kind of relationship was reassuring—— but perhaps also a little lonely. Homare ... Hisoka ... Azuma Things are still how they were during our debut performance. We haven’t taken a step forward from our past and our regrets. Tasuku —— Azuma There’s no need to force yourself to talk, and it’s okay to forget and blame it on the alcohol. But just for tonight, why don’t we try and lay ourselves bare for the things we haven’t talked about? In order for us to move forward, even just a bit. Tsumugi ...I think that’s a good idea. I want to know more about everyone, and I want you all to know too. Homare Why not? It’s something essential for all of us. Hisoka ...Okay. Tasuku Should we prepare some drinks? Tsumugi There might be some things that are hard to talk about when sober. Izumi We’re pulling an all-nighter tonight then! Homare An all-nighter, huh. How exciting. Hisoka ...You’d probably be the first to fall asleep after saying that. Tasuku ...So, what do we talk about? Tsumugi If we’re talking about pasts, you’re the one who hasn’t talked about it yet, right Tasuku? Azuma I already talked after all. Tasuku Me, huh... Homare For example, how did your relationship with Tsumugi-kun turn so sour back during our debut? Azuma I’m certainly curious about that. Tasuku ...When Tsumugi and I auditioned for GOD-za together, I was the only one who passed. Tsumugi felt down, but I couldn’t say anything to him. And before I knew it we lost touch. And then after that, I heard Tsumugi quit theater; I was shocked, and somewhere deep inside I also felt like I was betrayed... But at the same time I was angry at myself for not being able to do anything. Azuma That’s so like you. Tasuku When we met again, it felt like his excessive use of “someone like me” with a pessimistic attitude negated the Tsumugi from the past who had worked himself to the bone. Tsumugi Tasuku... Tasuku There was something about acting and me that made you scared, and whenever I saw you like that my feelings became a jumbled mess... so I ended up adopting that attitude towards you. Homare To put it simply, you were sulking. Azuma I guess so. Tasuku —— Azuma It must be hard for Tsumugi too, to have a childhood friend that’s not honest with his feelings. Tsumugi I devoted so much of myself into theater — I’m also in the wrong for giving up on it after just one failure. And besides, he told me that he liked my acting. It balances out. Izumi Ohh—— Azuma So he can be honest when it’s necessary. Tasuku You didn’t have to mention that. Izumi Now, now. Today is disclosure convention after all. Tasuku Then what about you, Director? Izumi What!? I’m not a Winter Troupe member so shouldn’t I be exempted? Azuma Of course not. Izumi N-no way...! Tasuku There’s surprisingly a bunch of things we don’t know about each other yet. Azuma Yeah. There’s a lot of things we don’t dare talk about after all. Izumi That’s all the more reason why the Winter Troupe has a lot of unsaid stories. Azuma ...It feels like the Spring Troupe are a family, the Summer Troupe are friends, and the Autumn Troupe are teammates. What about us? Tsumugi Erm... I feel like the Winter Troupe is not any of those things. Tasuku That’s true. Calling us friends or teammates doesn’t sound right. Hisoka ...We’re something. Homare What do you mean by ‘something’? Azuma He probably means something that can’t be named. Hisoka ...Yeah. Tsumugi If a relationship that can’t be named feels right, then isn’t that fine? Azuma That’s right... Homare Hm, I’ve got it. Why don’t we temporarily call ourselves people who share the same destiny? Tasuku We already settled on something just now though. Homare Together in sickness and in health, in happiness and in sadness, for better or for worse: people bound together by a common destiny... Is that not wonderful! Izumi It’s kind of like marriage. Hisoka ...That’s heavy. Homare What do you mean by heavy, hm? Tasuku Well, whatever you say. Tsumugi Whenever we’re not able to handle it alone, we can share and carry the burden of each other’s pain together... Something like that? Azuma Yeah. I’d like a relationship like that. Hisoka ...Zzz, zzz. Homare ...*snore, snore* Tsumugi ...Zzz, zzz. Azuma Everyone fell asleep. Tasuku Who said anything about an all-nighter... Azuma Why don’t we head to bed soon too? All-nighters are bad for the skin at this age. Tasuku Yeah... Come to think of it, in the end are you going to cut your hair? Azuma I might cut it. What do you think? Tasuku Well, short hair suits you just fine too. But when you wore a wig for our second play, you looked like a different person and it was a bit unsettling. Azuma ...I see. ...Ah. Tasuku ? Azuma Look out the window. It’s morning. Tasuku It’s already this late, huh. We ended up pulling an all-nighter after all... *yawn* ‘M sleepy... Azuma ... Tasuku Is something wrong? Azuma It just occurred to me that I had no idea the morning sun is this beautiful from up here. Tasuku The view from the top floor is really nice. Azuma But this is the last time I’ll be seeing this view. Tasuku Are you returning your key? Azuma Yeah. I don’t need it anymore. Tasuku ...What’s that other key for? Azuma It’s the key to my parents’ home. I left that house when my family passed away, and I haven’t been back since. I feel like going back will make me realize that I’m all alone, and that scares me. Tasuku ... Azuma ...Someday, if I ever get the courage to go there, will you come with me? Just kidding—— Tasuku ... Azuma He fell asleep. Fufu. He falls asleep during convenient times. Tasuku ...Zzz, zzz. Azuma “Good night, and sweet dreams.”
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